I wrote a post recently called, Reflections on retirement. In response, a number of people pointed out that I had not mentioned the pastime I appear to enjoy the most in retirement, cooking. I thought about why I had done this. Partly it was because I was concentrating more on my work related activities since leaving full time employment. Partly it was because cooking is now so much a part of my life that I took it for granted.
It wasn’t always so. I come from a family where the only people who cooked were Mam and my sisters. It was a very special occasion indeed when Dad got out the frying pan and cooked breakfast. I went to a school where boys were not allowed to take what was then called home economics. We had metalwork lessons instead to prepare for a life in a factory. I am ashamed to say that like most men of the time I was conditioned into thinking that cooking was not for me.
When Vishva and I were married in 1973, I quickly discovered that she was an excellent cook. Almost by default I was happy to leave most of the cooking to her. Even though she was working full time as teacher or lecture. As I look back I cannot believe that I allowed this to continue for so many years. I thought I was a ‘new man’. But this was only in my mind, not in my deeds or actions.
I realise now that not only did my conditioning influence me, so did my fear. I had never cooked. I didn’t know how to cook. I was afraid to cook. But that is no excuse. It was not until later in life that I discovered how wrong I was in so many ways.
One of my retirement presents was a gift token for a cookery course. Another was to learn metalwork but that’s a different story. I booked on a course within a few weeks and discovered a world I could never have imagined. Since then I have continued to cook daily.
For a time I even had my own hashtag on Twitter called #murthasmenu. This began as a bit of a joke but it continued for some years with quite a following, including Nigella Lawson. I also began to bake bread regularly and post the results.
It was during the pandemic that cooking came into its own. In those long months when we could not go out or see anyone I cooked to fill the time. As eating out was banned I decided to bring our regular visits to restaurants into our home. Every weekend I would prepare a three course menu and lay the table as at a restaurant. Wine would be served. I spent days looking at recipes to ensure I never repeated a menu and posted the results on Twitter. I am sure that this helped us to survive those dark days as it broke up the tedium of lockdown.
Thankfully the pandemic is now over and we have returned to a more normal life. But I still try and cook a special meal at the weekend. It is our date night. Even though we are both in our 70s. It helps renew the spark in our relationship that has now lasted over 51 years.
I am now much more confident and experimental in my cooking. I still follow recipes but I vary them and substitute ingredients. We are vegetarian which makes it more interesting. I try to cook in accordance with the seasons and even do a bit of foraging. At the moment two of my favourite ingredients are wild garlic and early English asparagus.
Apart from baking bread I now also make pastries cakes and pies though I’m still leaning and often make mistakes. There are things I rarely cook. Indian food for example. I learned long ago that this is Vishva’s realm. I could never compete with a lifetime of learning.
Over the years I have become reasonably competent as a cook. I now know that most things are possible. My advice to anyone out there is don’t be afraid. If you can follow a recipe you can cook. Like everything in life practice helps you improve. But no matter how much I practice I will always be the second best cook in our house. The Crown belongs to Vishva and always will. Though I’m glad to say we now share its glory.
tommurtha 